i think my mom watched the whole time
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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