Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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