when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I want to be your penis for a week.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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