Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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