Your face is a jimmy john
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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