my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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