Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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