Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think I just sharted jello shots
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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