I'm going to rape someone's good day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
