non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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