we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
