Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
