He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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