he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's always time for handjobs
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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