She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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