im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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