Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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