i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
