i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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