why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
