making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
