that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Shame - the story of my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
