I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
