I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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