Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
