we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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