I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
