Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
