It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
