morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
