I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
