Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
