I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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