No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so let's talk penis.
my shit smells like andre
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
