I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
