his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
