You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How's work?
Spinning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
