you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize