Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The adults are the big ones right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
