You can't motorboat a personality
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
