his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
