I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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