I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
