I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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