Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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