franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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