on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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