in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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