If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
