Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
