She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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