i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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