these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
