it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i think im in europe. pls send help
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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