i was born a porn star she said
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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