He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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