Who did Billy Mays play for?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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