So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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