i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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