I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
