you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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